A problem I have is with your first content paragraph. You say in your excellent intro that you are going to look at both sides of the argument and then you start talking about the causes of poverty. Thanks a lot for your comment!
I do agree with your point. I always feel the need to explain the causes for the topic. I have my exam next week and I am grateful for your commands. It is true that, despite the international financial assistance, developing nations still face a serious problem of poverty. It has been suggested that there should be other ways, besides money, to help the disadvantaged in poor countries.
In my opinion, a combination of both: The principal reason why the financial help to developing nations is considerably criticised is the fact that it can provoke corruption in the local governments. In other words, it is not used according to its purpose. Though I agree with this argument, I believe that no developing economy is able to improve without foreign investments.
In this case, targeted investments would be one reasonable suggestion. For instance, it would be a good idea to create joint enterprises to build roads, railroads and other transport systems. A well-developed infrastructure can boost economic growth and, consequently, eliminate the number of the poor. Another way to control the use of financial help is to carry out projects directly in the country of need. For example, some volunteers from Canada regularly collect donations in their community, purchase necessary equipment and then go to the rural areas of Mali to build water wells.
Finally, help can be offered in the non-fiscal form. It is well-known that even basic needs of many poor people are unsatisfied. Hunger, shortage of water, infectious diseases can be effectively addressed if packages of long-lasting foods, water supplies and vaccines are sent to the needed. My conclusion is that there certainly are grounds for concern over offering financial aid to the developing nations, however, measures of control as well as simple practical actions can be taken to make sure this help is used purposefully.
The intro is very well-written. You identify both parts of the question and clarify your position. As the essay continues it moves slightly away from the issue of poverty into the question of aid in general. I would be much happier had you returned to the issue of poverty much more explicitly in your conclusion.
My conclusion is that there certainly are grounds for concern over would be one reasonable suggestion A well-developed infrastructure can boost economic growth. You writing is extremely cohesive and the way you link sentences works very well.
Just in paragraph 2, I see. All the language is there and more. You have great writing skills. Thanks By the way, I think this essay was really outstanding. Thank you so much for your detailed answer.
And this is my problem: Could you comment on that, please? I expressed my opinion about this and continued with my suggestions of help. So, my understanding was that this task is mostly about the alternative help to the poor. It looks that I am not quite right here…. Would it be enough to change just the conclusion to sound more explicit? This is my second attempt:. My conclusion is that there certainly are grounds for concern over the poverty and multiple financial assistance in relation to the developing nations, however, by means of targeted investments as well as small practical actions these issues might be addressed more successfully.
I need to be careful here. It is possible that your essay would be read as an appropriate response to the question. That would be a shame because your English is great.
Spend as much time as possible thinking before writing — you will have no problem finishing the task words and so it is quite possible to spend as much as 15 minutes thinking. You still have 25 minutes to write. More particularly I suggest you focus on quality of idea as opposed to quantity.
This means that you select the idea s that best fit the question. This means not writing about some ideas. Again, I suggest you focus on what I call the spine of the essay introduction, topic sentences and conclusion.
I will try and explain this more when I write my own essay. But the general idea is to narrow the focus of your answer to the question itself. Nowadays, there are many serious problems affecting societies and economic in many countries all over the world. One of these problems is poverty, which is considered as one of the most terrible ills of societies that needs to be viewed seriously and handled with care.
In this essay I will discuss the issue in a greater depth along with the possible forms of aids and solutions. Firstly, there is no one size-fits definition of poverty. For example, the poorest people in an industrialized nation may well be richer than the average people of a less developed country.
Poverty can be measured by income levels where in a one society some people are of high income while others are of a very low income. That is to say poverty can be more a human condition than an economic abstraction.
Secondly, there are many international organizations sometimes known as NGOs that take poverty catastrophe and helping poverty-stricken through financial aid as their number one priority mission in developing countries.
Although these organizations usually pay considerable amounts of money in order to eliminate poverty, still some people believe that foreign aid alone will not solve the global poverty problem, as it can be a solution on the short term only.
They argue that the problem has to be eliminated from the roots, by finding out the main causes of poverty and deciding on the best ways and practices to overcome this issue. As a result of all mentioned causes, societies suffer from lack of money, homeless, famine, poor health care and education. Consequently these result in very radical and terrifying situations, such as children being abandoned by parents because of inability to feed, clothe, and educate them, or crime rates become very high in the society.
In conclusion, I agree that foreign aid can be a solution for poverty on the short term, but at the same time, there are other forms of aids that must be taken in consideration in order to eliminate poverty in developing countries.
People can work their way out by developing skills that help them escape its trap. Education can be the most important aspect to start with. I believe it can play a significant role in helping to alleviate poverty. Hi Azza This is an essay full of good language and ideas.
But there are definitely things to think about. You want to try and select your best ideas and reasons and use them in an organised way. Here the particular problem is that you fail to maintain a consistent position throughout the essay and a lot of what you write does not directly address the question. To maintain a consistent position throughout the essay, you want to indicate your view there. Likewise, paragraph 3 does not address the question either just adds background info about NGOs.
Also be very careful of one sentence paragraphs — they are almost always signs of undeveloped ideas — as here. Your fourth paragraph is where you start to address the question. Your opinion only really becomes clear in your final para.
My recommendation is that in the short term you work on:. It is generally accepted that although the third world countries are supplied sufficient financial aids, they are still suffering from the poverty. In my view, there might be several causes for this such as the lack of efficient long term plans and issues in politics.
However, I believe that it would be ideal and also advantageous if these countries are given the chance to stand on their own. The immediate reason for the existence of poverty in the third world countries is that they do not have a proper plan to use the financial aids in a productive manner. In , after the massive destruction caused by Tsunami, we were given a huge some of money for the welfare of the affected people and to develop the infrastructure in the respective areas.
But according to my knowledge, a part of this money went to the pockets of the politicians because the government did not have a long term goal. Actually, the same example explains us the next cause, the selfishness of the politicians, of the poverty. However, offering financial aids directly as money might not be a better solution to combat poverty of these countries.
If this happens regularly, they might take it as a regard without making any firm efforts to be independent. To avoid this circumstance, other types of aids can be offered. For instance, scholarships can be offered to the outstanding students of these countries.
Further, knowledge transfer programs could be arranged so that they will have the domain knowledge and they can try something new which is the first step of being self-reliant. Personally, I am of the opinion that the many of the developing countries do not make sufficient hard work to be developed and they wait until the help comes from the rich with their mouths opened.
Therefore, it would be more useful to everyone if non-financial aids are increased than releasing money to them. Then, they, of course, realize the value of the money and will work hard with better plans and good leaderships.
This is my response to the task for competition. In this you tube era, third world countries obtain monetary assistance from wealthy nations in order to come out of poverty.
Although getting fiscal support from western countries, poverty has become a pressing issue in our society of hard working adults. This will be proven by looking at this problem in depth along with its other forms of aid and solutions.
On the one hand, many educationally oriented people feel that economic aid from industrialized countries can cure poverty the world over. S administration and other western governments to expand their budgets for the poverty stricken Kenyan people in order to uproot this evil from this country. My personal belief is that this will not help for the long term. The principal reason of why it will not be successful is that all the delivery of this aid goes into the hand of corrupt politicians.
On the other hand, others tend to think that other types of support might help to alleviate the poverty at a greater extant. I am completely agree with the statement that other effective measures should be brought forward to the attention of public or decision makers in order to eradicate this major problem from poorer countries as a whole.
For example, a charitable organization VSO in the U. K, is working around the world helping people of many war torn countries in order to improve their health, education, livelihood and career.
This organization has a wide network of volunteers working across the globe in extreme conditions for making their life style better with all modern day facilities. There are some possible suggestions to this problem. Use the following code to link this page:. Use our Essay Rewriter to automatically rewrite any essay and remove plagiarism. The majority of poor people are those who experience chronic -- and even multigenerational -- poverty Iceland, In the United States many of the chronically poor live in urban environments.
These environments, characterized by high concentrations of poor high concentrations of people of color and concentrated disadvantage, have been characterized as areas of moral as well as economic failur. Although our world is developing at a rapid rate in terms of technology, and many problems of the 20th century have been solved, there still exist issues that humanity cannot deal with.
Among such challenges as hunger, wars, natural disasters, and pollution, poverty is one of the most significant problems; in fact, it is a scourge of many developing countries. Therefore, understanding and eliminat. Once can be poor in many ways - in health in dress, in thought and in outlook. But poverty is usually to mean the state of being economically poor. One who lives in penury is called poor. There may be various causes behind poverty, but in our modern world the main causes of poverty are found in the socio-economic system based on exploitation, discrimination, disparity and injustice.
You ask me what is poverty? Here I am, dirty, smelly, and with no "proper" underwear on and with the stench of my rotting teeth near you. I will tell you. I cannot use your pity. Put yourself in my dirty, worn out, ill-fitting shoes, and hear me. Poverty is getting up every morning from a dirt- and illness-stained mattr.
Poverty as a social phenomenon has been a problem at every step of civilization. Although the portion of poor people in society fluctuates in comparison to other times, poverty always remained as a problem. Moreover, the policies used to eradicate poverty generally dealt with the reason-result relationship, none of them looked at the dialectic relationship between poverty and society. Poverty is a social issue that has gown over time to be one of the greatest problems concerning the world.
This issue has been around a while, but many people do not care. On the one hand, poverty can be mitigated through the economic development only. This helps poor people get crucial life-saving support and evade hunger.
The idea is incomplete without a connection with poor people. Children do not — 1. Your sentence means that children do not become qualifies individuals in the future. Therefore, through economic development removal of the poverty is possible.
On the other hand, economic development is damaging the environment. AN and THE are articles and, hence, parallel.
This leads to an extreme level of pollution leading to the death of millions of animals, plants, fish, and insects.
IELTS Writing Task 2/ IELTS Essay: You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.. Write about the following topic: Every country has poor people and every country has different ways of .
25 Responses to IELTS poverty essay writing competition Joseph Choi March 7, at pm # Even though developing countries receive financial aid, poverty is still a problem.
IELTS Essay 1 Different statistical researches show the correlation between crime rate and poverty. First of all, the level of crime is related to unemployment in all countries. IELTS Essay Correction: Illegal to Reject Someone Applying for a Job Because of Her Age – 1. August 30, IELTS Essay Correction: Competitive Sports .
As we know, young people are the most vulnerable to the effect of hunger and poverty. Consequently, world poverty opens the door in order to be exterminated people. So therefore the . IELTS essay plan – Should developing countries receive non-financial help? Spending lots of time searching for IELTS info? poverty is still an issue. Some say they should be receiving other kind of help, to eliminate poverty. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give examples and suggest what other form of help can be offered.